Over the years, I have tried my best to keep my private life private and my blogging life full of the things that I love. And over the years, the passion I had for writing and other things have slowly dwindled. Because after all of this time, I have been silently struggling. Struggling to grow. Struggling to hold on to who I was and I was to become. I have forever been able to stay strong no matter what I’ve been through, but this time it was different. Different because what I was going through affected me so deeply. So much so, I didn’t know who I was or who I became. I thought I was a strong woman until my world started crashing down. The person I thought I was, wasn’t enough for who I was bound to, my beautiful blessed life, had become a beautiful mess. Everything I thought I knew was no longer. Everything I thought was felt, wasn’t felt at all. And everything I had worked so hard for, meant nothing at all. So where do you go from there? After all, you thought you were living your happily ever after. But my ever after, was just until. Just until he became who he wanted to be. Just until he got what he wanted in life. Just until he could take all he could bear. Without an explanation, with all of the excuses. Every excuse you could think of actually. So now I’m left here. To pick up the broken pieces. A beautiful person inside and out…but beautifully broken. Broken because of what has become of my situation. Broken because my marriage is no longer. Broken because I have to explain it to my daughter one day. Broken because what I thought was forever was momentary. So here I am, beautifully broken. Fragile and cracked but not broken completely. Because I have to stay intact for who is left. A beautiful part of me that I will always hold dear. A miniature version of me who needs to see that a beautiful broken woman, can become a beautiful and strong woman again, without the damage that left scars. Scars that can be healed and concealed. The beautiful peace about this is, that rebuilding what has been broken, makes me appreciate life even more. What has been broken can be brought back to pristine condition. Beautifully broken for a moment, but beautifully blessed for a lifetime.
Read (Luke 1:28)
*Free flow writing. Grammatical errors and all*